"March Madness" Descends

ATLANTA (DWN)

March Madness may not be so funny any more. Recent reports from the Centers for Disease Control indicate that a strain of Mad Cow Disease known as "The March Madness" has crossed over to humans and begun driving entire cities insane. Damage has been especially heavy in regions where basketball is popular as announcements regarding meat safety are often disregarded because of the ongoing NCAA Basketball Tournament. 

"Its a real problem," noted Centers for Disease Control spokesperson Marlo Jenkins, "You try to educate people and all they want to talk about is their NCAA tournament brackets. We've lost a lot of good people that way." Jenkins went on to say that despite the confusion created by the name of the new disease strain there would not be a name change in order. "We've already labeled all our vials and beakers and such with 'March Madness'. If we start to change that up our operating costs for this year skyrocket." 

In lieu of name change the CDC has proposed a $3 million dollar ad campaign to air during NCAA Tournament Basketball games. The ads will focus on the difference between March Madness and "The March Madness". A SportsCenter tie in and a PSA to run during "Cold Pizza" are also distinct possibilities. "We're going to battle the March Madness on all fronts," said Mr. Jenkins. 

Jenkins finished by noting that perhaps the NCAA tournament should change its informal nickname because "there hasn't been that much madness this year. Bob ,the guy who picks all 1 seeds, is still winning the office pool."